


These dreams are made of nightmares

by snive



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 19:36:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 20,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21433600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snive/pseuds/snive
Summary: Dean, Cas and Sam are out there finding a creature that haunts people's dreams. After Dean joins the dream world, Cas and Sam are his only hopes to find a way back.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19
Collections: DCBB 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for Dean/Cas Bigbang 2019. My artist is weldersmightyb.

It was a nice and warm Sunday evening in a small city somewhere in Texas. People were already heading back to their dreamworlds and having a good night sleep. The small town was well aware of latest news. Few local people had gone mad in the middle of the night and no one didn’t know the reason.

An abandoned building in the outskirts of the town wasn’t asleep. Three men approached it carefully not wanting to wake the horrors inside. They were looking for something no other human could have imagined. The building had been a factory at some point but after hitting a bankrupt, they had just left it standing there aloof.

”It must be a Mare.” Sam had declared after a thorough look through the internet. They had been staying at a local motel for a few days now and hadn’t managed to catch the creature causing devastation yet. ’It’s a mythical creature from a Slavic folklore and it’s causing people nightmares while sitting on their chest. Why it’s able to make people lose their minds, beats me’.

”Well, how do you kill it?” Dean asked without hesitation.

”It doesn’t say but there’s this prayer or a charm to ward it off. It’s really long but we can give it a try.” Sam says and reads out loud a short prayer making Dean rolling his eyes and wondering how they would have time to read it out loud before the creature takes them. ”It’s also afraid of it’s own face so a mirror would also be useful.”

”So we need a mirror and this long prayer. Great.” Dean sighs.

After grabbing a small mirror from the motel room and taking the Impala for a ride, they headed for the building they had tracked the creature down the day before. Cas was accompanying them, making sure to save the boys in case the Mare got them. Dean didn’t mind Cas following them and was happy to have more company after not seeing the angel for the past few weeks. ”Heaven business” had taken a lot of time.

”You take the back door, Cas takes the stairs and I take the door in the front.” Sam told them while they each were holding a piece of the mirror. They all headed their own ways while the moon started to rise behind the stranded factory. Dean had insisted not having more hunters joining them. This would be an easy case to solve. Just sending some bitch back to where they came from.

The factory was empty but you could spot some corners and rooms with burnt woods and empty beer cans after youngsters had found it. Cas went through the empty rooms and wished he had joined Dean and Sam instead. This was a regular case for the brothers but he wanted to make sure they didn’t end up losing their minds as well.

After half an hour of searching and not finding the mare, Sam was ready to give up and find the others. Maybe this was the wrong place. He heard footsteps and showed the mirror towards the door of the room he was in.

”Take it easy, Sam. It’s just me.” Cas entered the room and Sam lowered the mirror. ”Have you seen Dean?” Sam shook his head looked a bit worried.

”Let’s go and find him. I have looked through the whole area.” Sam said and got up with Cas following him. ”We must have missed something.”

They headed downstairs. The whole factory was silent, and they could only hear their footsteps. Suddenly Cas came to a halt and told Sam to wait. ”I think I heard something.”

They stayed still and listened. They heard a faint groan. They were sure it must have been Dean. They had to act quick now as he must be in a trouble. They listened closer and hear the sound come from a wall. They went through the whole wall looking for hideouts. Sam heard a hollow sound and pushed the wall with a force. They found a small and dark room with no furniture or windows. They noticed Dean lying on the floor and not moving. A dark creature sat on his chest and grinned with its toothless mouth.

Cas rushed to the Mare with his mirror and Sam started to read the prayer out loud.

”Here I am lying down to sleep. No nightmare shall plague me until they have swum through all the waters that flow upon the earth and counted all the stars that appear in the skies.” Sam finished the prayer and closed his eyes wishing the Mare was gone.

”Dean, Dean. Wake up, Dean.” Sam opened his eyes and noticed Cas crouching above his brother and shaking him. Dean didn’t even stir. ”No, wake up. It’s gone. Dean, come on. He’s still alive. Sam, we need to get him back to the bunker.”

Cas didn’t have his angel powers back, so they had to drive Dean back in the Impala. They managed to drag him inside the car and Sam took the wheel. Cas joined Dean in the backseat holding him up and trying to make him wake up. Sam had never seen Cas so worried so far. The minutes went by really slowly as Sam pushed the gas pedal even more furiously. How come they had taken different ways and not gone as a group. They would have never ended up in this situation.

”It’s not your fault, Cas.” Sam assured him while navigating their way back home. Cas seemed like he was on the verge of crying and Sam knew he was blaming himself for what had happened. ”I decided to make us go our own ways.”

”But if I had heard his voice from behind the wall earlier and found the way to go there.” Cas said furiously. Sam had never seen the angel this angry and frustrated. They stayed silent for the rest of the way and Sam could hear silent sobs from the back seat. He put the radio on to make his thoughts go somewhere else. Asia’s Heat of the Moment started to play, and Sam immediately shut the radio down. He didn’t want to be reminded how Dean died in the Mystery Spot all those years ago. Cas asked why he turned the radio off and Sam explained about hating the song for no obvious reason. This was the worst time for a proper explanation.

Back at the Bunker they placed Dean on his bed and Sam headed to the library to find more information about their foe. Dean should have woken up after getting rid of the Mare. While looking online before the hunt, he hadn’t read anything about this kind of a situation. Piling dozens of books on the table, he started doing his research.

Back in Dean’s room a teary-eyed Cas sat beside him and held Dean’s hand in his. Feeling emotions like sadness felt new to him. It hadn’t been long since he had lost his angelic powers. Feeling tiredness and hunger were something he had been happy to experience. Dean had even taken him to eat in his favourite burger joint. Now Cas was only feeling worse remembering all those times he had spent with Dean. Cas wished he was able to enter Dean’s dreamworld and save him. He had no chance right now, so he had to wait until Sam found a way to make Dean wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean woke up and had no idea when he had fallen asleep. He remembered being in the old stupid factory and hunting the Mare. He recalls encountering it and suddenly everything had gone black. He had no idea where he was. He was inside this small room with no windows or doors. Damn it, where were Sam and Cas. He has no idea how long he has been asleep.

”Cas! Sam! Where are you? Shit.” Dean curses when he hears no sounds and bangs his fists against the wall. Why had they gone their own ways instead of taking the same route? This was the worst-case scenario. Dean starts to go around the room, feeling the walls in case he finds a hidden door or something. He suddenly remembers finding a door hidden in a wall when entering the Mare’s lair. The creature had caught him off guard. How unprofessional getting surprised like that.

Where was the damned creature right now? The room was totally empty, and Dean recognises it as the one he had found the Mare in. Now the wall didn’t let him through anymore. He tried to knock the door and shout for Sam and Cas. He put his ear against the wall and tried to listen for any sounds, but everything was silent. He tried to push the wall, but it stayed firm and didn’t give in. Suddenly he heard a faint cry and someone calling his name between sobs. It sounded familiar. Maybe it was Sam or Cas trying to find him.

”Cas? Is that you? Sam?” Dean shouted and didn’t get any answer. ”Cas, Sam. I’m here inside this bloody hidden room. Open the door.” He didn’t hear anything anymore. Just the same silence kept him company. He sat on the floor and hid his face in his hands and sighed in frustration. This was horrible. One of his nightmares was being completely alone and forgotten by his friends and family. He didn’t know how much time had passed since he had encountered the Mare. Hours, days or mere minutes. He had no idea.

After trying to find a way out and calling for anyone letting him out, he realised there was no way of getting out of there. He started to feel tired and sat back on the floor. He found a worn blanket and a pillow. They smelled terrible but he had no other choice. Dean tried to stay up, but the tiredness took its toll. When Dean laid on his back and tried to keep his eyes open, the last thing he saw before falling asleep, was a pair of dark eyes and a hideous grin looking at him from the nearest corner.


	3. Chapter 3

”Cas, you need some sleep.” Sam arrived at Dean’s room holding a cup of coffee in his hands and handed it to Cas whose eyes were red already. Sam sat beside him and took Cas under his arm.

”I feel like I should have never left you two go your own ways. This would have never happened if we had stayed together.” Cas sighed and took a sip from his coffee.

”Don’t blame yourself. We will find a way to save Dean. I’ll get you a mattress so you can stay here with Dean.” Sam patted Cas’s back and left the room.

He had known for all these years Dean and Cas were starting to fall for each other. All those long gazes and the way they looked at each other. They looked so happy when they were together. Cas being more of a human must have caused him to give in to his feelings more. Now he felt sorrow and sadness as the one he loved is gone. He didn’t want to see their angel friend suffer and wanted to make sure Cas got his time with Dean.

That night Cas slept next to Dean and woke up to every sound he made in his endless sleep. Sometimes Dean would groan in his sleep and sound anxious. Every time Cas hoped he woke up. He looked at Dean’s face and looked for signs of waking up with no avail. When Dean turned in his sleep and looked frowning, Cas would place his hand on Dean’s and soothe him. It would make Dean relaxing and continuing his peaceful sleep.

Cas sat on his mattress and looked at Dean’s sleeping face. Cas caressed his face gently and pecked a kiss on his cheek. Dean smiled a bit in his sleep. Cas dropped his head back on his pillow and let a cry echo in the bunker. He had wanted to cry properly but he hadn’t wanted to show how vulnerable he was when it came to Dean.

Sam was reading in his room and hearing a sad cry coming from Dean’s room. He felt bad for Cas. He had felt the same sadness when Jess had died. They still had the chance to save Dean, but Jess was gone. It had been years since that happened, but Sam would never forget seeing his girlfriend burning to death in the ceiling. He had to stay strong for Cas now and find a way to help his brother. He couldn’t afford losing the family he had left.

It was nearly morning when Sam returned to Dean’s room. Cas was sitting on Dean’s bed and holding his hand. He withdrew when Sam entered the room and blushed.

”You don’t need to hide it, Cas.” Sam told him and sat next to him. ”I know how you feel. When I lost Jess all those years ago, it took me ages to get over it. Sometimes I still remember her and feel the sorrow. I just tried to live on and did it by leaving home with Dean. I assure you we haven’t lost Dean. Just keep him company, talk to him and make sure to be there when he wakes up. He needs you. I haven’t found a way to revive him yet but I’m making progress.”

”I want to enter his dreams, Sam. I know he’s in there somewhere. There has to be a way to make it happen.”

”But you have lost your powers.”

”I know but there are still many people that might be able to do it. I have to be the one to rescue him. Dean needs me.” Cas looked at Sam with a stern face, burrows frowning.

”We might find another way as well. You don’t know what’s inside there. It can be dangerous. I promise we will find a way.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean had been up for days. He didn’t know how many days had passed. Every time he woke up, he woke up in another place. Every place was totally empty and without other people. He could recognise all of those places. Some of them were their old houses, motels they had stayed in, hospitals they had ended up in after a long hunt with too many wounds. This time Dean woke up in a white room with hospital beds and medical monitors attached to him.

”Bloody hell.” Dean cursed and started to remove the ECG cables and oxygen mask. He got up and checked out of the window. The yard outside was empty. The ventilation window was open, but he couldn’t even hear birds outside. It was dead silent. Dean turned around and noticed a shadow outside the door’s window. He hurried to the door and peeked outside. He couldn’t see anyone. Only an empty corridor. He realised he was in the hospital from Dr. Sexy. He recalled the prank Gabriel had put them in.

Dean started to run around the corridor looking for the one that had created the shadow. He found the hospital lobby and tried the main door leading out. Of course, it was locked and didn’t give in at all. Dean cursed and continued looking for a way out. So far, he had realised the only way out of the current place was falling asleep. He had napped for a couple of minutes at a time and started to feel very exhausted. Every time he started to fell asleep, he could see the Mare’s hideous face staring back at him.

He heard a rustle behind the counter and turned around. He noticed someone in a white jacket standing there with their back towards Dean.

”Hey, you there. How do I get out?” Dean shouted and headed towards the counter. The person didn’t answer but kept going through some papers. Was that guy deaf or something? Dean walked behind them and reached his hand to tap their shoulder. It turned around and once again Dean stared at Mare’s eyes.

”No fucking way. You won’t get me ever again.” Dean cried out loud and started to run to the nearest corridor. He could hear footsteps following him and he hurried up trying to escape the creature. Dean stormed in an empty operating room. He tried to find something to use as a weapon. How could he use something? He only knew it was afraid of mirrors but for some reason the whole place didn’t have any mirrors. Maybe this was the Mare’s plot, not giving him any chance to escape. He heard a rattle at the door and tried to make no sound. He had ended up in a dead-end. The room had only one door and he couldn’t use it while the Mare was waiting for him outside.

Dean looked up and noticed an air vent. He pulled the operating table underneath it and pushed the vent open. He could pull himself up inside the pipes just in time before the Mare entered the room. Dean peeked inside the room, but it didn’t notice him, so he waited until the creature left the room. He looked around and started to crawl forward. He didn’t like tight places.

After crawling for what felt like an eternity, Dean ended up looking at a room with Sam and Cas talking inside. Dean nearly entered the room when he realised it might be another plot to get him captured once again. He listened carefully while crouching so that they couldn’t notice him. He had to act cautiously.

”Our new patient, mister Dean Winchester, needs some serious help, doctor Novak.” Sam told Cas. ”I might recommend giving him some sleeping pills so that his delusions would get a break. He hasn’t been sleeping for days.”

”We need to check him before he hurts himself more, doctor Smith.” Cas told him.

Dean got alerted and realised they must go looking for him soon when they notice he’s gone. No matter what happens, he was determined to continue his way out of the hospital. He wasn’t sure where he was headed. His main goal was to get away from the Mare. He wasn’t going to sleep, not today or soon anyway. It wasn’t safe at least. He needed to find the exit out of that place. He left Cas and Sam behind and continued his journey through the ventilation system.

It didn’t take long when he started to hear shouts. Dean realised they had noticed his absence. He heard Cas and Sam run around trying to find him. Dean sat down after a few minutes when realising they won’t find him. He was exhausted. He had been up there for a couple of hours now and hadn’t slept properly for days. Dean thought it might be ok to fall asleep for a minute or two. He hadn’t seen the Mare since escaping the operation room.

Dean propped himself against the pipe and put his jacket around him. He was missing Cas and Sam. Had they already found the hidden room? Were they trying to save him from this weird world? Dean got emotional and tried to toughen up. He didn’t want to get too emotional at the point where he was in trouble.

Dean was missing Cas especially. The silly little angel was always there for him and Sam. Just a few days earlier Sam had told him to tell Cas how he felt about him. Dean had told Sam to quit his nonsense. He wasn’t gay for certain. He liked ladies and had never felt passion for men. Still, there was something about Cas. Those blue eyes looking at him and Cas smiling wide grin when Dean joked about something stupid. He wasn’t sure how Cas felt about him. Sam had tried to hint him that there must have been something going on. ”He raised you from perdition leaving that mark on your shoulder. Why would a random angel do that?” He had hinted.

Dean lifted then his left sleeve revealing the hand shaped marking on his upper arm. It had been there for years and every time Cas had smiled at him or been very close to him, Dean swore that he felt a warmth in the marking. Dean placed his hand on Cas’s mark. It was smaller than his hand. Dean imagined Cas touching it and comforting him while he fell into a peaceful sleep.

Dean woke up few hours later to a faint whisper calling his name somewhere nearby. He got up and feared it was the Mare looking for him. He was still in the same ventilation system so the Mare must not have found him this time. He listened carefully trying to hear the voice once more but it was dead silent. He couldn’t make any sound in case someone found him. He had to find his way out of there. He was still tired and had slept in a very uncomfortable position so every single inch of him ached. The pipes were quite small, so he had to crouch when he moved.

He moved carefully and didn’t hear any sounds. He peeked in different rooms and didn’t even see Sam or Cas in them. He didn’t even feel hungry. The only sense he felt was tiredness. It must be Mare’s doing, making people tired, falling asleep and see nightmares. Dean found a small room with two doors. It was totally empty with no furniture, so he entered it carefully, not trying to make any noise. He didn’t know if there were more people waiting for him. He had only seen Sam and Cas.

Dean opened one of the two doors a bit and checked the corridor. It was empty and no one was around. Dean headed towards the other end of the corridor. It ended abruptly and there was only one door on the right. Dean pushed it open only to face Sam and Cas in their doctor coats looking at him and sneering.

”Mr. Winchester. We were already worried you were gone for good.” Sam told him while Cas took hold of him. They forced him on the bed in the room and tied him to the bed. Dean tried to kick and wriggle free. These Sam and Cas were much more powerful than the ones in real life. The put him in restraints.

”Relax, mr. Winchester. You have been awake for far too long. You need to sleep, and we can make you fall asleep better.” Cas smiled at him. It wasn’t the normal gentle smile Cas gave him. It was murderous and manic grin.

”No, no. Don’t do it. I don’t want to sleep. No!” Dean shouted but had no chance when two men with these superpowers pushed him back on the bed.

”This won’t hurt at all.” Sam said preparing a syringe full of medicine. Dean was sure it was a narcotic. He tried to kick Sam, but his legs were tied firmly. Dean groaned in despair.

”Cas. Don’t make him do this. You are better than this.” Dean pleaded looking at Cas.

”Who is Cas? It’s doctor Novak to you, mr. Winchester.” Cas looked at him sternly while Sam injected the medicine into Dean who screamed out loud. He knew what was about to come.

”Good night, mr. Winchester.” Sam and Cas told him and left the room.

Dean tried to fight the sleepiness, but it was hopeless. He tried to keep his eyes open and bite his tongue and lips. The pain should keep him awake but the medicine was much stronger than him. The door to the room opened and Dean knew the Mare entered the room. Dean could see it through his half-closed eyelids. The Mare adjusted itself on Dean’s chest and groaned out loud. It looked at Dean curiously and put its head on Dean’s chest. Dean fell asleep at instant not knowing where he would find himself next.


	5. Chapter 5

”Dean, Dean. Can you hear me?” Cas whispers into Dean’s ear. He has barely left Dean’s side. Only when Sam comes in and tells the angel to get a shower, something to eat or to visit a toilet. Cas still hasn’t gotten used to all these human bodily functions. Many times, Cas tries to resist leaving Dean’s room but Sam is stern with him.

”We can’t afford to lose you to a famine, Cas.” Sam tells him and Cas reluctantly heads towards the kitchen.

”We have to keep watch all the time. If Dean wakes up suddenly and no one’s around. What if he suddenly has a heart attack while sleeping?” Cas had told Sam furiously after Sam had told him to have a lunch for the first time.

”Ok, ok. I will keep watch when you need to eat, take a piss or whatever.” Sam told him and patted Cas on the back.

Many times, Sam would bring all the books to Dean’s room and read them with Cas in case they found some more information. It had been a few days since the accident. Dean had shown no indication of waking up. Sam would comfort Cas and take care of them both. Cas frantically went through all the possible explanations and came up with different ways to help Dean. Cas reminded Sam about all the contacts they had. Sam had tried to contact Rowena, but he couldn’t reach her. Cas had groaned in disbelief. She was one of the only people who could have been able to help them. None of their other contacts had any good ideas either.

”Why would Rowena help Dean? We’re not the best mates.” Sam sighed and threw a book across the table for Cas to read.

”We definitely aren’t but she is a talented witch. She’s our last hope.” Cas explained and started to go through at least the twentieth book.

Dean rolled in his sleep and grimaced. Cas got up and hurried to him. His face fell when Dean continued his sleep. He swallowed his tears and sat on the bed burying his face in his hands.

”Sam, she really is our only hope.” Cas said referring to Rowena. Sam only nodded and continued reading another book about dreams and nightmares. Cas was right. They had run out of ideas already and none of the books or the internet gave any help.

Sam reached for his phone and dialled Rowena’s number once again. The familiar female voice told him the person couldn’t be reached. Cas tried to keep his hopes up but while hearing Sam leaving a voice mail instead, his hopeful grin faded away.

”I feel like we’re not trying enough.” Cas said. ”We need to do more. This is getting nowhere. Dean might die and we could do nothing.” Cas said nearly shouting. He had never felt this angry and furious. He threw a fit and threw his pillow against the wall and shouted out loud in despair. For the first time he cried out loud while being with Sam. Desperate tears fell down his cheeks and he tried to cover them. Sam sat next to him and took him under his arm.

”It’s ok to cry. It’s a normal human emotion and it’s not being weak or anything. Everyone cries sometimes. You are allowed to feel these emotions.” Sam told Cas and rocked him back and forth while the angel let all the frustration out. Cas cried for good 15 minutes until he got up. His eyes were red from all the crying.

”I need to stay strong for Dean.” Cas declared while swallowing his tears. ”There’s no use in crying and wailing in pity. We need to help him as soon as possible.” Cas took another book, but his swollen eyes prevented him to keep focus on the book.

”Look, Cas. You’re no use when you’re tired. Get a shower and some sleep.” Sam told him with a small smile. Cas only nodded and headed for the showers.

The bathroom in the bunker was always a bit chilly. The showers were old, and the pipes made noise when you turned it on. Sometimes you needed to turn the handle many times until the water started to run. The good thing was that the water was warm at least.

Cas got rid of his clothes. They were already stinky after he hadn’t showered for a few days already. He stepped under the shower and turned it on. The noise got him startled every time. He let the water run down his swollen face and felt relieved when the warm water washed his tears away. He was longing for Dean and wanted to feel his warmth against his skin. Cas let his hands wander around his naked body while thinking of Dean smiling at him. The only time he had got a boner was the time when he had watched some porn. He hadn’t known what it was at first. Dean and Sam had explained it while blushing. Cas understood, that it had been something you usually didn’t share with other people.

The thought of Dean touching him, made shivers run down Cas’s spine. He felt the familiar ache in his groin. Cas laid his eyes on his growing erection. Dean hadn’t explained what to do about it but Dr. Sexy had given him some idea. He took hold of his boner and started to slowly masturbate. Cas moaned out loud. He didn’t want to raise any suspicion so he bit his lip in order to prevent more moans to escape his lips.

It felt really good, and Cas started to feel hot and shaking. He sat on the floor, letting the water stream hit his erection. It made the sensation even more stronger. He hadn’t felt anything like this before. He pants got much frequent and Cas closed his eyes leaning against the wall behind him. He felt a pressure on his balls. He imagined Dean’s hand caressed his balls while his other hand gave him strong and long strokes. Cas imagined Dean moaning out loud as well while having and ever-growing erection himself as well.

With the thought of making Dean feeling good as well, Cas came with a pressure. The orgasm nearly made him faint. He had never got the same experience before. Cas panted and gathered his strength before getting up. He cleaned up the wall and floor covered in semen. He was afraid Sam had heard him. He showered quickly and got dressed up before heading back to Dean’s room. Sam was still there reading a book.

”Did you enjoy your shower?” Sam asked when Cas came back.

”Oh yes. It was nice.” Cas answered and hoped Sam didn’t notice him blushing. He hid behind another book and leaned back on the chair. Cas was sure Sam knew what had happened when he heard a small snicker.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean got up abruptly. He had fallen asleep once again. Doctors Sam and Cas had tied him up and given him narcotics. The Mare had caught him, and Dean was ready for whatever was coming next. He looked around and recognised the house as the one where they lived after Mary had died. He didn’t have the fondest memories from his childhood before he left for school. John was mostly absent; Bobby took care of them and they were pretty much alone when Sam was old enough to go to school.

The house was fairly small. They did move around or live in motels anyway for most of the time. This house was rented, it had one bedroom, a living room and a tiny kitchen. It wasn’t much but still; it was their home. John had tried to bury his grief into working even more and drinking. It was very usual for hunters to drink a lot but after Mary’s death, John took it to another level.

Dean sneaked in the living room and noticed someone crouching in the corner with their face buried between their knees. Dean got closer. He noticed it was a 5 years old Sam. He was shaking so he realised Sam was crying. Sam looked up with his eyes red and he looked at Dean horrified.

”Daddy will be home soon. Hide, Dean. He must be acting weird again.” Sam told him. Dean realised he was back in his 7 years old body. Sam was jumpy and reacted to every sound he heard. This was no unusual evening at their household.

”We’ll be ok, Sammy. Just don’t do anything to make him get mad.” Dean hugged his brother and got up.

”Don’t leave me.” Sam cried out loud when Dean started to head for the door. Dean just wanted to get out of the house, but he couldn’t leave Sam alone either. His brother was afraid and alert. Dean sat next to him and Sam leaned against him.

After a while they heard the door open. John had entered the house and was walking from wall to wall. They could hear how drunk he was. He was shouting for the boys and he appeared in the doorway. He was still holding a bottle of beer in his hand. Sam shivered and tried to hide behind Dean.

”I told you to clean up this bloody mess.” John shouted and threw the bottle near the corner where Sam and Dean sat. Sam started to cry but it did no good. Dean stood up and confronted John who slapped Dean.

”Now, clean up this room.” John told him sternly and wobbled to the bedroom, apparently passing out on the bed. Maybe he will wake up some time in the middle of the night and maybe shout at them a bit more. Usually by the time it was morning he would be sitting around the breakfast table and apologizing them.

They sat themselves on the couch. Sam told him how John had started to get angry as he hadn’t had his first beer in the afternoon and stormed out of the house cursing. Dean remembered how John had been really mad for the first few years when he was trying to find Azazel. He was determined to kill the one who had destroyed his family, John said.

”Let’s go to Bobby’s.” Sam whispered. Bobby lived nearby and many times they had escaped their father’s tantrums there. Dean took his hand and they headed towards the door. It didn’t open. Dean pushed and pulled the door, but it didn’t move.

”Why it doesn’t open?” Sam asked. Dean realised it must be the Mare making him live his horrendous childhood nightmares once again.

”We will get out of here.” Dean told him knowing very well that the only exit would never open; not in this world. They tried the windows but to no avail. This nightmare would only end when they fall asleep. There is no escape from this place.

They laid themselves on the worn-out couch and took blankets to be warm. It was a chilly winter night and the apartments in this block were very cold during the winter nights.

”Tell me a bedtime story.” Sam suggested. His pleading eyes made Dean soften and he decided to tell about their future.

”Well. There were these two brothers. Let’s call them Sam and Dean.” Sam got excited and for the first time in this dream, Dean saw him smiling. ”Dean had wanted to become a hunter just like his father. He went hunting all kinds of monsters, like wendigo, demons, ghosts and witches. Their dad got lost and Dean wanted Sam to help him. Sam had to persuaded quite a lot but finally he decided to join his brother.” Dean left out the worst part. A 4 years old kid shouldn’t hear about death of his future girlfriend.

”Sam and Dean met this real angel, called Castiel. He wore this suit, a blue tie and a trench coat. He wanted to help them fight the monsters. One time they encountered this creature called Mare. It caused people to see nightmares and lose their minds. Dean, Sam and Castiel went to help the city where it attacked people. While looking for the creature, Dean got lost. They found him but it was too late. The Mare had got Dean. He was asleep and couldn’t wake up. They took him back home and tried to help him. To this day, Dean might still wander around the nightmare world. You might meet him if you look closely.”

Sam looked frightened and insisted on knowing whether the story was real.

”Are we really in a nightmare? I hate nightmares.” Sam moaned and looked scared.

”No, that was just a story. Dean did wake up and they lived happily ever after.” Dean finished his story in order to comfort Sam. ”Now, get some sleep. I will guard you in your sleep.”

Dean knew the Mare would attack him and try to get him to sleep. He just wanted for these nightmares to end. They were getting worse and worse. Sam started to kip next to him and Dean wrapped him tighter with the blanket.

Dean turned the tv on just to stay awake. He muted it so that John would have no reason to get angry. He would be drunk enough not to hear anything anyway. Dean sat comfortably on the couch and leaned back. He had forgotten how boring late night tv shows might be in the late days. Nowadays he could just turn the porn channel on and entertain himself. This tv had only few channels and barely any shows at this hour.

The wind started blowing outside and the raindrops hit the windows. Dean had always been sleepy when it rained. Bloody weather. He had to get out of there, but he couldn’t leave Sam alone with their abusive father, not even here. Dean started to doze off when he heard that faint noise calling his name once again.

”Cas? Sam?” Dean whispered not waking Sam up. ”Are you there?”

The only thing Dean could come up was praying to Cas even though he knew the angel had no powers anymore and definitely couldn’t hear his desperate prayers.


	7. Chapter 7

”Dean, I really hope you can hear me.” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear. ”We need you here. Sam has gone looking for Rowena and there’s someone trying to break in the bunker. Dean, we need you.”

Cas was ready to attack in case someone tried to break in. He still had his angel blade and was ready to use it. He was holding the hilt firmly in his right hand when he got up from the bedside chair. He glanced one more look at Dean.

”I won’t leave you. I will take care of the intruders and keep you safe.” Cas told Dean and gave him a small kiss on the forehead. He already heard someone descending the stairs.

Cas peeked around the corner, seeing two demons entering the bunker. How had they found them and why were they there? Cas had no chance but to fight them alone. One of the demons started to head for Dean’s room and towards Cas.

The demon rounded the corner and was surprised by Cas who gripped the demon’s hands behind the back and covered his mouth. Cas wasn’t ready to kill them but wanted to know how they had ended up there. Dean can’t be safe if more monsters knew about the bunker.

Cas opened a door carefully to another room with a demon trap in the ceiling and put demon safe handcuffs on him locking the door when leaving for taking down the other demon. He could still hear the first one shouting curses at him and surely drawing the other demon’s attention.

When Cas entered the main lobby, the other demon was gone. He must have been somewhere around. The first one had been dumb, not being careful enough to watch his back. Cas had taken him by surprise. The other one seems smarter one, hiding somewhere, ready to attack.

Cas headed for Dean’s room sure that the other demon had found it already. Cas hurried that way and the door was open. Cas had left it closed when leaving the room. Cas rushed to the room and saw the demon ready to attack. Cas lifted his angel blade to hit the demon with it. The demon turned around quickly and headed for Cas instead.

”None of your kind will never hurt Dean again.” Cas shouted and tried to aim for the demon.

”Trying to protect your boyfriend, huh?” The demon laughed.

”He’s not my boyfriend.” Cas told him and tried to hit once more, only to be blocked by the demon.

”What’s the matter? Dean didn’t accept you after you lost your holy powers?” The demon made fun of him and barely missed Cas’s arm holding the angel blade.

”Why are you here? How did you find us?”

”Some stupid, so called friend of yours, hinted us valuable information only after a short…. How should I call it? Persuasion.” The demon tried to hit him once more. Cas managed to take hold of his hand holding the demon blade and yanked it behind his back. ”You think you can prevent all of us entering this place of yours?”

Cas pulled the demon in the same room as the other one. Cas insisted them telling him how they got there after all and why. Neither of them told anything. After a long interrogation, Cas got fed up and entered the angel blade on each of them.

”None of you shall harm my boyfriend!” Cas shouted at the non-moving corpses in front of him. He decided to leave them there until Sam returned. Dean needed him instead.

He heard sounds coming from the room. Maybe Dean had woken up. He hadn’t seen three demons so it must be him. Dean was muttering something but was still asleep. Cas listened carefully and tried to make something out of his speech. He could hear words like Cas, nightmare, help and never-ending. Cas realised Dean was living his nightmares and couldn’t have been getting out of there. He only hoped Sam would find Rowena.

”Dean. I can hear you. Talk to me.” Cas said loudly to make sure Dean heard him, but he seemed to have lost the contact and Dean was sleeping soundly again. Cas sighed and sat down. He placed his head on Dean’s chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. Cas stayed there and felt better when hearing the rhythm. Maybe Dean was asleep in his dreams. The rhythm was a bit slower and easy. Cas drifted into sleep as well while lying there. He had been awake for far too long now.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas dreamed of being in Dean’s dreams. He couldn’t find the hunter. He entered a hospital. Cas recognised it after he had seen some Doctor Sexy on tv few years ago. Cas walked along the corridor calling for Dean. He didn’t see anyone. Cas looked around the corner and spotted a couple of people walking away from him. They looked a little familiar. After following them for a while, he recognised himself and Sam. They were talking quietly but Cas could hear some words of the talk.

”He has lost his mind. Poor boy.” Sam said.

”Yes, we need to find him and take care of him.” Dream Cas smiled.

Cas followed them hoping to find Dean at the same time. They seem to have lost him. Maybe he could find Dean and communicate with him as well. Sam and the other Cas were looking everywhere but it was useless. They seemed to be anxious.

”This is no good. We can’t serve out master if we can’t even finish this one bloody task, finding that Winchester boy.” Sam cursed.

”We will find him for our master, doctor.” Cas assured him.

Cas was sure they were talking about giving Dean to the Mare. But was this the place where Dean was right now? He couldn’t tell. His task was to find him before the two fake doctors did. He didn’t want to hurt him and Sam, even though they weren’t from the same world and these two were dangerous to his friend.

He tried to sneak inside a room, but the door didn’t give in. All the doors were locked. Maybe they opened only for Dean and the doctors. He followed the men and tried to keep out of their sight. They must have been looking for Dean for a while as they seemed very angry.

Cas heard some sound from the ceiling. He thought he must have heard some cursing. Maybe Dean was hiding somewhere. The doctors had heard it, too and headed towards the sound. Cas hurried there as well. The last thing he saw was the doctors pining Dean to the bed and giving him some medicine. Dean’s eyes started to close, and he dozed off.

Cas tried the door, but it was locked, and he couldn’t get inside. The Mare had entered the room and laid itself on Dean. Cas banged the door. The doctors disappeared and the door gave in. Cas rushed to Dean’s bed and tried to shake him. He didn’t even stir and was in a deep sleep.

”Dean! No!” Cas shouted. Dean was alive but sleeping. Cas shook his head and tried to get him to wake up.

”He won’t wake up.” Sam had entered the room. ”He’s now in the mercy of the Mare. He owns Dean Winchester’s dreams.”

”I will find a way to wake him up. Even if it was my last deed. He’s all I needed.” Cas said sternly. ”You will never get him.”

”Is that so?”

”Who are you? Why does the Mare want Dean?”

”We are the Mare’s loyal servants. It’s our job to find the humans with their delicious dreams for her. You’re such a pretty boy. No wonder he has laid his eyes on you.” Sam said lifting Cas’s head and caressing his jaw. His lips came closer to Cas’s who tried to pull away.

”You are such a loyal angel. It’s a pity you lost your powers. You would have saved your boyfriend otherwise already.”

”I will save him. I’m his only hope. After all, I already saved him from Hell once. Now, why does the Mare want Dean?” Cas hissed. Sam disappeared and Cas was left alone in the room. Dean was gone as well. He needed to get out of there.

Cas opened the door. The place hadn’t been this empty when he entered the hospital. Now it was half as small and even emptier. It’s like the place was fading away. He had to rush, but where was he supposed to go. He ran towards the continuing part of the area. The other end of the corridor was fading in a speeding up pace. The emptiness was ready to get him.


	9. Chapter 9

”Cas, Cas! Wake up!” Cas woke up to Sam’s voice. ”You sound anxious.” Cas jumped up and realised he was back in Dean’s room in the bunker. Sam had come back from finding Rowena. She was nowhere to be found.

”I saw Dean.” Cas declared with his eyes wide open. ”He’s in trouble.” Sam looked at him questioningly.

”What do you mean? Where did you see him?”

”I fell asleep. I ended up in Doctor Sexy’s hospital. There were these two doctors who looked like us. They were looking for Dean. They found him eventually and put him to sleep. I talked to one of them. He said they were Mare’s servants and were bringing humans to Mare. She seems to feed on humans’ nightmares.”

”Why do they want Dean?”

”I don’t know. When I tried to ask him, he fled. So did Dean. The whole place started to disappear, and I got out only when you woke me up.”

”Now we know why they need all these people. But I still want to know why they need Dean so badly. He’s the only one that has fought longer than the others.”

”Maybe he’s fighting because he needs us and we need him. He has something to fight for. One of the servants told me Dean had laid his eyes on me. They seem to know him well.”

”It’s good to know your opponent when you try to fight them. We don’t want to attack monsters if we don’t know what we’re up against. They must study their victim carefully before choosing whom to attack.”

”Have we found any new information that could be of use?”

”I haven’t found a way to fight a Mare when she’s in someone’s dream and doesn’t let them out. It’s like a never ending hell. I think someone outsider has to make it end. You’re right. Someone has to enter Dean’s dreams.”

”When I was there, the Mare controlled where I could go and I could only see what Dean had seen. When Dean left the hospital, it started to disappear.” Cas went on describing thoroughly what had happened in there. ”Dean never saw me. It was difficult to make a contact. I basically wasn’t in his head. I was only a spectator of his dream. I need to enter his head instead.”


	10. Chapter 10

Dean had fallen asleep with Sam and knew when he opened his eyes, he would be in another nightmare. He was still in the same room as before, but Sam was gone, and the furniture was different. Dean got up and checked the bedroom. John was also gone. Dean cursed out loud and tried to get outside of the house. He was back in his normal adult body.

The door opened this time to Dean’s surprise. He was greeted by Cas outside. He was covered in blood and was about to pass out. Dean got Cas before he fell on the ground.

”Demons. They found us. Get me out of here.” Cas mumbled to Dean while being dragged to the house. Dean put him inside the bathroom and started to look for band aids. When he got back to the bathroom, Cas was naked and waiting for the bathtub to fill. Dean blushed and looked away until Cas got inside the tub.

”What happened, man?” Dean asked worried while helping exhausted Cas wash himself.

”They got me. They found us. They didn’t say why but some hunter had told them our whereabouts.” Cas sighed. ”I should have kept us safe.”

”Don’t blame yourself.” Dean told him while washing the dark hair. They blue eyes reached his and Cas couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

”Thank you, Dean. I always appreciate your help.” Cas smiled at him.

Dean looked away shy and started to rinse off the soap. He muttered something about just wanting to help. He felt funny when Cas looked at him. Cas always made him feel relaxed and happy. There was something in the angel he found fascinating.

”Dean, you look red in the face. Are you feeling ill?” Cas said touching Dean’s forehead. It made Dean blush even more. He felt like he wanted to kiss Cas and take him right there, but he didn’t know how Cas felt. He was still so innocent and oblivious about everything about being a human.

”No, I’m fine. Let’s get you some bandages and get you dressed. There should be some clothes here.” Cas got up and Dean handed him the towel trying not to stare. He couldn’t help but peek a little seeing some dark hair leading towards Cas’s crotch before he put the towel around his waist.

Cas was still weak and Dean got him sitting on the bed. He had no idea how Cas had ended up there, what year it was or why they were there. He had so many questions, but first Cas had some wounds he had to take care of.

Cas winced when Dean put some alcohol on his bleeding wounds. They didn’t seem bad but needed to be cleaned. Cas liked the way Dean took extra care touching him. Dean apologized every time Cas made a face. He looked so fragile when he was hurt. He crouched and tried to hide his wounds.

”Shh. I’ll take good care of you. Just a little bit bandage and you’ll be ok.” Dean assured Cas. ”How did you end up this way?”

”Some demons attacked me when I was heading here to you. They got me and nearly stabbed me. I managed to escape them barely. They were looking for you. I hope they won’t find us. I wanted to go somewhere else as they must have been following me. Now they might be somewhere close waiting for you.”

”We will fight them if they come close. They will never get us.” Dean cleaned the last wound and put the bandage on it. Cas looked pitiful and sad. He sat on the bed with the towel around his waist and looked at all the bandages.

”Thank you, Dean. You mean a lot to me.” Cas told him.

”You are my best friend, Cas. I’d do anything for you.” Dean was mentally slapping himself. He knew he was just lying. Cas was more than a best friend. Cas was the most important person in his life. Damn it, he has totally fallen for this guy. This scrawny, a little muscular but perfectly bodied angel just made him go weak in his knees.

”You should get some sleep. Here, put some t-shirt and underpants on so you won’t get cold. I will keep ward in case the demons find us.

”You look more tired. Have you even slept for the past days?”

”Barely. But don’t worry, I can stay up.” Dean laid himself next to Cas after he had dressed up and propped himself under the blanket. He turned to face Cas who looked at him smiling shyly. ”I wish we had more time together. Usually we just end up fighting some monsters. I totally value the time together.”

”Yes, I do too.” Cas told him. Dean glanced at Cas’s lips and licked his. How he wanted to kiss them and caress Cas’s tender body. He wanted to taste how an angelic mouth tasted and feel the pressure in his crotch when fondling that gorgeous figure.

Dean leaned a bit closer and let his lips carefully touch Cas’s. Cas held his breath and tensed a bit.

”Dean, what are you doing?”

”Sorry, I just felt like kissing you. You look so wonderful, Cas. I want you.” Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’s. ”Relax. I know you want it as well.” Cas’s tension eased and Dean held his hand. He cupped Cas’s chin and placed tender kisses on his lips. Cas gave in to the kisses and mimicked Dean’s moves. It was the first proper kiss he had ever received. It was a bit difficult at first but soon Cas learned how to do it.

Dean was starting to undress his own shirt and he made Cas blush as well. He smiled at the sight when he crawled on top of the angel. He was cursing himself for making Cas put the shirt on.

”You look so fucking beautiful, man.” Dean placed more kisses along Cas’s jaw and caressed his torso under his shirt. ”I want you so bad.”

Dean started to remove Cas’s shirt. The sight that met him caught him by surprise. Instead of bare skin, a hairy chest started to appear.

”What the fuck?” Dean stared at the chest and lifted his head. Instead of Cas’s blue eyes, he saw dark eyes and a wide grin of the Mare. ”No fucking way!”

Dean tried to flee but the Mare had got him already and pushed him on the bed. Sitting on struggling Dean’s chest, she made the helpless hunter fall asleep once again. She had caught Dean by surprise. This was the first time she had appeared as something else.


	11. Chapter 11

Cas woke up to Dean moaning and calling his name. He was still drowsy after getting a better sleep. It was only early morning, but Cas was alert. Dean was groaning and wriggling on the bed. Cas was wondering if he was having another bad dream.

Cas had been starting to sleep on the same bed with Dean. The bed was large enough for both of them. Sometimes during the night if Dean started to sound anxious, Cas would start to soothe him and caress his head. Most of the times Dean relaxes immediately but not always. Every now and then Dean keeps having the worst nightmares for hours.

This time Dean seemed happier and blushing. Cas thought maybe he had met some gorgeous lady in his sleep. He looked at Dean panting. He noticed a fairly big bulge in Dean’s underpants. He didn’t know what to do and there was no way he would ask Sam right now. Cas carefully watched the situation to improve. He started to feel hot as well.

”There’s no time for these feelings right now. Dean might be in trouble and need my help.” Cas mumbled to himself. The swelling in Dean’s pants didn’t show any sign on getting smaller. Cas gulped and pulled the blanket away revealing Dean’s bare legs and underpants.

”Why am I doing this?” Cas looked up and sighed. He placed his hand over Dean’s growing erection. He started to run his fingers along it. Dean pushed his hips upwards to meet Cas’s hand. ”This is madness.”

”Cas.” Dean whispered and groaned. He didn’t wake up. Cas continued caressing Dean’s boner. He slid his hand inside the boxers and continued his long strokes. Dean sighed happily. Suddenly he stiffed and cried out loud. Cas got startled and took his hand away. Dean’s erection started to fade away slowly. Cas noticed it wasn’t an orgasm. Something must have happened in his sleep. Dean stopped making any sound and continued his sleep.

”Oh, shoot.” Cas said and threw himself on his pillow. Why had he done that? He felt like he had betrayed his friend. He couldn’t get any sleep at all anymore. He was thinking whether Dean would remember all the things when he woke up.

Cas got up and headed for the kitchen. Sometimes he dared to leave Dean alone for a while. He knew they were getting nowhere without Rowena’s help, if she could help. Cas got himself coffee and he sat around the table eating some leftover hamburger from yesterday. Cas liked all the human food now that he could even taste it and eat it for pleasure.

Sam arrived a couple of hours later to get some breakfast. Cas was asleep on the table and woke up to the scraping sound of the chair. He got up and was ready to attack but only realised it was Sam after nearly hitting him with the angel blade.

”Whoa. Take it easy. It’s just me. I found something we could use but we still need Rowena to do it. It’s a complex spell and she needs to stay concentrated for the whole spell. She won’t like it.”

”Let’s see if she even agrees to help us. She might be our enemy but she has helped us before anyway.”

”I heard from one hunter that she has been spotted in Florida. She seems to be taking a holiday.” Sam looked like he hadn’t known that witches would take holidays. ”You stay here and keep an eye on Dean. I’ll go and bring Rowena here.”

”I won’t leave Dean alone. We’re under a threat as the demons might return.”

Sam left the bunker and worried Cas taking care of his brother. He thought he shouldn’t let Cas go inside Dean’s head alone. He needed some company. The angel was reckless sometimes when it came to protecting people and creatures he cared about. Sam knew Dean’s history and it could be of a use in there. He hadn’t told Cas that they both should go in. The angel would definitely tell him no and that he should be the only one to be able to save Dean as the dream world is scary and you never know what might happen.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean woke up but didn’t dare to open his eyes. He heard nothing but could feel a rough ground underneath him. He was outside but he didn’t even heard sounds of birds. He had an idea where he might be but that was one of the last places he wanted to return.

Dean opened his eyes fast when he could hear something move nearby. He had feared to return here and now he was back. The purgatory hadn’t changed. It was still eerie and silent place where no one wanted to go to. Hideous monsters lurked everywhere and there was only one way out.

He started to run away from the sound. He didn’t want to meet the creature that had caused it. He remembered when he had lost Cas to purgatory and it took ages to get him out of there. He must have run for quite a while so he leaned against a tree and caught some breath. He remembered Cas’s face when he was left alone there and only Dean got out. Cas had looked horrified.

When Cas had returned from purgatory, he had been in a bad shape. It had only taken him a quick clean-up and the angel was back to himself. Dean was always fascinated how fast Cas could mend all kinds of troubles. Now as he was human, he had lots to learn. Dean had been happy to help him. Human functions could be really tricky sometimes.

He didn’t have lots of time to stand still as he heard some growling nearby. He didn’t have any weapons with him so he could only think of picking up a big tree branch from the ground to at least keep any creatures a bit further away from him.

The Leviathans were everywhere in purgatory. Dean could hear various noises coming from all around him. He heard someone shout his name and soon that someone attacked one Leviathan from behind him. It hadn’t been far away and his life had just been saved.

”Benny?” Dean called and Benny stood up to face him.

”Hello Dean. It’s been a while. I heard some Leviathans discuss how they had spotted a Winchester here. What are you actually doing here? Problems with your father-in-law?” Benny laughed.

”Once again. Cas is not my boyfriend.” Dean sighed and rolled his eyes.

”You are hilarious, you know that, right? He was all over you. Don’t say you’re still some heterosexual or anything crap like that. You’ve grown out of it already.” Benny still snickered.

”Whatever you say.” Dean said and started to walk towards the exit of purgatory.

”Hey, don’t walk away. Let’s have a chat.”

”I’m getting out of here. I’m not here in reality even. Somewhere in the bunker, I’m in this bloody never-ending sleep dreaming of all these stupid nightmares dream after another.” Dean kicked some leaves and continued his march.

”What are you talking about?” Benny asked. Dean explained all about the Mare and those nightmares he had had. Benny couldn’t help but laugh when Dean told him about Doctor Sexy’s hospital.

”You watch some really weird porn, man. When you get out of your dreams, we should hang out and you’ll tell me more about these fantasies of yours.”

”I won’t return here if it’s up to me. Now, shut up about my fantasies.” Dean said frustrated.

They walked in silence and didn’t meet any Leviathans until they reached the portal. There was at least five of them and they had been waiting for Dean trying to exit. Dean was ready to attack but his tree branch was of no use. He could just try to keep them further away. One of the Leviathans grabbed the branch and snapped it in two. Benny had already managed to kill a couple of its mates. Benny’s sword did its job easily. One of the Leviathans was nearly taking Dean when its head fell on the ground.

”It’s your chance now. You will find me here whether you need me.”

”I know.” Dean told Benny and headed for the portal. It was still barely open. Dean wasn’t sure what to expect but he headed for it. He wanted to get Benny out of there as well, but it was no use anyway as Benny had no chance to escape his dreams. He glanced at Benny once more before entering the portal. He was sure it wouldn’t let him in but soon he was through. He appeared in the forest and it looked totally same as the purgatory.

”No fucking way.” Dean cursed when he realised he was back. He had just left the place. Benny was looking at him from a spot a bit further away where he had been when Dean had left. He had returned to his personal hell. He would never get out of that hideous place.

”You just got out of here. Clearly this Mare you’re talking about, isn’t going to let you out for a while.”

”It just wants to piss people off. It made many people lose their minds and some ended up dead.” Dean huffed and sat down on a nearby rock. ”Can you hear me, you son of a bitch? I’m going to kill you even if it was my last deed.” Dean shouted and kicked the ground.

”You will get out of here. I’m sure Cas and Sam are looking for a way to get you out. How long have you been trapped inside your nightmares?”

”I don’t even know. My watch stopped working the minute I fell asleep. I believe it must have been days. I don’t even know if they’ll find a way to rescue me.”

”You think your angel boyfriend wouldn’t do his best to help you?” Benny was amused.

”For the last time. Cas is not my boyfriend.”

”Boyfriend, spouse, crush.” Whatever you call it. ”Well, let’s stop talking rubbish. If it’s true, you should just get some sleep and get out of here. This is not a safe place even in dreams. If you died here, you’d probably die in real life as well.”

Those words hit Dean. Sometimes he had wished for death, but his life was actually nice. Now they had a house and he had Sam and Cas around him. This was the last place he’s wanted to die in. Benny swore to keep an eye on him, so he stayed next to Dean.

”If you see this weird, dark haired creature, just save yourself and let her take me.” Dean sighed and laid down for a sleep on the ground. ”You definitely don’t want to end up being caught by her.”

For the first time in ages Dean had trouble to fall asleep. Benny even suggested singing a lullaby and after a short example, Dean decided it was worse than his nightmares. He told Benny to shut up and turned to the other side. Benny stayed in guard while Dean tried to get some sleep.

After a couple of hours Dean’s eyes started to close. He could hear rustling in the nearby bushes. He realised the Mare was coming for him. He told Benny to run as soon as she appeared. He heard Benny moving restlessly. This was something he hadn’t met before. Soon he heard running footsteps going away and the Mare moved around him, trying to find a good spot.

”Come on, bitch. Take me. It’s what you’re here for. Come on!” Dean shouted. In just seconds he was asleep not knowing what was going to happen next.


	13. Chapter 13

Cas was anxiously waiting for Sam’s return from finding Rowena. It had been too quiet after the previous demon attack. He was afraid they would return sooner or later anyway. He spent time reading the books Sam had gathered. He came across a book he hadn’t noticed yet. It was tucked away behind some dusty books.

The book was newer than the ones in the front. It had a leather cover and Dean’s initials engraved on it. It wasn’t locked or anything, so Cas was curious what he was about to find. Maybe some stuff about different monsters or press clippings.

He opened the first page. He realised it was Dean’s diary. Who would have thought a tough hunter kept a diary. Cas nearly laughed but he was too curious, so he started to go through some writings. It dated back in Dean’s youth. He hadn’t written much and the latest one had been written only few weeks earlier. He opened the first page and started to read a note from when Dean was about 10 years old.

”I came back from school with Sam. He’s usually suggesting we should visit uncle Bobby. Dad is scary when he has drunk alcohol. Today he was drunk again. Sam got scared and we needed to get out of there. We knocked on Bobby’s door. He had some friends visiting him. They told us all those cool stories about monsters. Sam told them nothing was scarier than our dad when he had drunk too much. They said it was pity we had such a stupid father. I told them at least we had one and we had a home. We came back home when dad was asleep. He’s always scary when being drunk.”

Cas was shocked. He knew John used to be alcoholic. It was shocking to read a story from their childhood. They had told Cas Bobby was like a father to them. Now Cas realised what they had meant with it. He put the book down and caught few deep breaths before opening another page written a few years later when Dean was in college.

”Today I met this beautiful girl called Susan at school. She has a funny sense of humour and a nice piece of ass.” Damn it, Dean. Not much hasn’t changed. ”I should invite her to this disco we have at school next week. She’s such a hottie.”

Few days later Dean had written how Susan already had someone. That someone was called Linda. Dean cursed how he fell for lesbians. He didn’t seem to mind about the sexuality of people but when he got ditched, then he was frustrated. He read through some writings from John’s funeral.

”Dad got his hunter burial yesterday. That old geezer had it coming but we’re still in shock with Sam. We haven’t been talking much but we support each other. That’s the main thing now. We have drunk so much alcohol, I have troubles writing. Rest in peace, dad.” The page was a bit smudged and something had been poured over it. Maybe it was alcohol or some cup of coffee. John had been a huge influence on Sam and Dean even though he wasn’t the best role model for them.

He flicked through some more pages. He spotted his own name written in big letters one page. Nothing else was written there. The next page had been written on, so the curiosity killed the cat and Cas wanted to know why his name had come up.

”Just a few days ago I met this angel, Castiel. He claims he was the one who gripped me tight and raised me from perdition. I just came back from Hell. Man, it was literally a hell there. I could only feel some force pulling me up and taking me back on earth. Castiel said he was the angel of the lord. How on earth would an angel be able to get someone out of hell? This guy is really interesting. He’s dressed in this old, tattered trench coat. I thought the angels had more like these white clothes, a halo and white wings. This guy is nothing like the ones in children’s storybooks.”

Cas was amazed that he was included in this diary. Dean seemed to have been impressed by him. He checked the previous notes and there was none from a year before when Dean had been gone. Most of the entries were just complaining about monsters and about finding nice chicks. Why would Dean be interested in chicken, Cas wondered. Maybe that was some weird metaphor for girls. Cas couldn’t resist to check out some other pages with his name in them.

”Today we found this werewolf pack. Cas was there for us and did a really good job. It’s amazing what angels can do. He looked so cool when he tucked his angel blade into that werewolf fur. Even though he doesn’t eat, he joined us for dinner. He seems to like our company a lot.” By then Cas had only been there for them for a couple of months only.

Cas glanced at Dean and smiled. He was totally asleep and hadn’t been seeing much shaking nightmares for a few hours now. Cas placed a kiss on his nose and leaned to the backrest continuing reading the diary. Dean had also placed some clippings and photos in it. Dean had got himself a new phone and was still very excited about the ultra marvellous, super duper camera on it. He found a photo of him with Dean who leaned on his shoulder and grinned widely. Dean looked like he was about to kiss Cas’s cheek. Cas took the photo out and placed it on the nightstand next to him. Their cheerful faces reminded Cas that they still had hope.

”Cas has been gone for months now. I miss him. We only know he’s got some angel business to do. He didn’t tell us where he went and why. He doesn’t answer to our prayers. We have problems that would need some holy help. Dude, where are you?”

Cas had regretted leaving them by then. No matter how big cases he had in Heaven, he shouldn’t have left his two friends alone. But they had survived all those years before that already. He kept an eye on them anyway.

”Cas finally returned. I was furious as he hadn’t been showing up for ages. Inside I was so frigging happy to see him. I can’t even recall how many times we prayed for him altogether. We still shouldn’t be angry. He wants to help us. The main thing is that he’s back.”

He flipped the diary through and found mentions of him on nearly every page. On one page Dean mentioned how he would love to see Cas’s true form even though it might burn his eyes in their sockets. Cas wondered how it was something to be excited about. He was just this huge creature that happened to be an angel. Cas started to wonder whether Dean liked him just because he thought his vessel was ok looking or did Dean think he was a fascinating guy.

Cas’s thoughts were wandering when he realised Dean was tossing and turning in his sleep. He could usually calm him just by touching him. Dean started to smile in his sleep when Cas’s hand found his. Cas smiled back and gave a small kiss on the back of his hand.

Cas fell asleep while going through Dean’s notes. He woke up in a dark place. It wasn’t emptiness. Cas realised he must be once again visiting Dean’s dreams. He started walking and noticed the area started to come into view.

”No, not this place.” Cas sighed when he noticed the familiar trees of the purgatory. This was the last place Dean wanted to return to. Cas didn’t see him at all. He must have been somewhere finding his way out. Cas didn’t waste any time and he started to hurry.

He spotted Dean with Benny. They seemed to be arguing about something. Cas got closer and realised they were talking about him. Dean claimed he wasn’t his boyfriend. Cas stopped and stared at them. Clearly Benny realised there was something between them. Dean tried to resist a little too much and Benny saw through him.

Cas shouted Dean’s name to get his attention, but Dean didn’t even stir. Cas walked next to him and called him once again. He got no response. He wanted to tell Dean he was going to be ok and they were doing everything trying to rescue him.

Dean disappeared into the portal. Cas dreaded that the leviathans would notice him. Luckily, he seemed to be invisible in this dream world. When Dean exited, the place stayed the same. It didn’t start to fade away. Cas ran after him to the portal only to be appearing back in the purgatory. Dean was talking with Benny about just trying to sleep.

Cas sat next to Dean who tried to get some sleep. He thought maybe Dean could even sense somehow that he’s present. Cas started to sing a lullaby. Even if Dean heard nothing, it would soothe him. Cas heard the rustle and kept in mind Dean did this on purpose. The Mare arrived sneaking towards Dean. Benny was long gone but Dean had told him to save himself. Now it was only them left.

This was the first time Cas was so close to the Mare. He realised she could see him but just shot a glorious grin towards Cas and positioned herself on Dean. A tear appeared in Cas’s eye. This was a never-ending hell for Dean, and they had only one chance to save him. He was strong-willed but this might take anyone’s toll at the end.

Cas sat there until Dean and the world around him started to fade away. This time he forced himself to wake up. He didn’t want to get trapped either. Cas woke up next to sleeping Dean with the diary on his chest. When he opened it from the same page, a photo of Dean and Sam smiling appeared. Cas looked at it smiling and got up heading to get something to eat.

He got a text from Sam. He said that he had got a hint of Rowena’s whereabouts and they might be heading to the bunker soon hopefully. Cas got a little happier for the first time since Dean had fallen asleep. They still had some hope.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean woke up in a street somewhere he couldn’t recognise at first. He got up and started to wander around. He thought it seemed familiar but couldn’t think where he was. Never mind, he would just walk around and see where he was. After seeing some local newspaper in a store, he realised he was somewhere in California. Not a big city but a small and cosy one.

Dean ended up in a local bar. Even if he wasn’t thirsty nor hungry, he deserved a beer after all he’s been through. He ordered a drink and realised he hadn’t got any money with him. Well, this was a dream world so what difference would it make anyway.

He took a sip from the beer. It tasted nothing but Dean felt like getting drunk and pass out on the table. Damn, he couldn’t even get drunk here, he realised after 3 pints. He just needed to get his thoughts elsewhere now.

Dean sat there in silence. Otherwise the place was empty. Only him and the bartender were there. He was sure the bartender was one of those who followed him for the Mare. The whole city was empty except for few people here and there. It was his dreams so they could be anything. Dean was used to all kinds of monster dreams, but these started to get on nerves.

He flicked through some papers he picked up from another table. They were really old and from different years. Nothing new to read. He would have liked to know how it was going in the real world. He didn’t even dare to ask for newer ones from the bartender.

Dean had sat there for a couple of hours when the door opened. He guessed it would be one the Mare’s henchmen. Instead it was a beautiful young lady in her red dress. Dean didn’t recognise her at all. She looked around and spotted him.

”Are you alone here?” She asked Dean who nodded. ”Mind if I get something to drink and join you?”

”Not at all.” Dean waved his hand and looked after her. Not a bad behind and such a sweet face. Dean resisted on whistling after her. You can never be too cautious in the dreams. He sat there and smiled when she came back.

”By the way. My name is Christine.” She shook hands with Dean.

”I’m Dean. What are you doing in the godforsaken place? It’s totally empty, like some apocalypse has happened.”

”I joined a group of friends for a ride along the west coast. They went to some local gay bar and I needed some quieter place. I thought this place looked quiet enough.”

”How could it be loud if this whole place is empty?” Dean wondered but didn’t say a word.

”What are you doing here then?” Christine asked.

”I’m running away from my usual life. I needed a break.” Dean answered, not daring to tell the truth. ”Long story short. Not getting into any details.”

”Heart breaks, huh?”

”Not really. More like escaping my continuous nightmares.”

They sat around the bar for a while. It started to rain. It was the first time Dean had seen other weather than heavy clouds in his nightmares. Dean cursed out loud that he hadn’t taken his umbrella with him. Christine suggested he could join her as she had one and her hotel wasn’t far away. Dean was definitely in. The girl was gorgeous, and Dean felt the pressure building up in his groins.

After one more drink they headed outside. It was pouring and he had to lean on Christine not to get totally wet. They walked a few blocks and ended up in a tall and fancy hotel. They had once made it to staying at a hotel this high ranked. They were more used to motels. The reception was also empty, but he could see some movement at the back.

”Bloody minions.” Dean cursed silently.

”What did you say?”

”Oh nothing.”

They took the lift to the upmost floor and stepped inside a big and definitely expensive hotel room. It even seemed to have a jacuzzi and a minibar full of alcohol bottles. Dean took a bottle out and opened it. It was the strongest one and still it didn’t taste at all.

”I need to take a shower. Feel free to watch some tv and get comfy. Be at home, Dean.” Christine said and went to the bathroom. Dean watched after her and wondered what she would look like underneath that dress.

Dean took his jacket and pants off. He had been wearing the same ones for days and they smelled horrible. He turned the tv on. He found some porn channel and watched it for a while. It had some gay porn on. At first Dean was about to switch the channel but ended up watching it anyway. He felt the familiar pressure building up. Dean told himself he wasn’t gay and shouldn’t get turned on by some dudes fucking each other. He watched the show until he heard the bathroom door open. He turned the tv off and Christine sat next to him on the couch.

”What did you watch?”

”Oh, just some boring soap opera.”

”Do soap operas tend to turn you on?” Christine asked blushing Dean. His erection had started to show. ”Let me take care of that.”

Dean nearly screamed when Christine scraped her long nails along his cock through his underpants. He groaned out loud. Christine smiled a wide grin and fondled Dean’s balls.

”Close your eyes.” Christine told him and Dean obeyed. She took off Dean’s boxers. He sighed in relief. His erection graved to be freed. Dean enjoyed the light touches, but he wanted more. A hand took hold of his hard on and started to wank it slowly. He groaned out loud and his back arched to the touch. He felt a fabric being tied around his wrists and he was tied to the bed poles.

”So you like some kinky stuff.” Dean laughed. He started to drip of precum, and he wanted to come so badly. It had been too many days already. He felt Christine got up and heard clothes being removed. Dean smiled and received a kiss on the lips. They felt different. Not those soft feminine lips he had gotten used to.

Dean opened his eyes wondering if something had happened as he lost the touch. He wanted to scream out loud when he saw Cas sitting next to him and brushing his hands along Dean’s torso. Dean tried to get up but he was tied up.

”What is this, Cas? Where’s Christine?”

”Who’s Christine. I’ve been here the whole time taking you here from the bar. You only see what you want to see. Your mind tells you that you like ladies. But look at you, getting hot just being touched by a gay angel.” Cas told Dean who tried to resist but his erection told a different story. Dean moaned when Cas took hold of his dick while masturbating himself simultaneously.

”No, this is wrong. I’m not gay, bloody hell.” Dean cursed but groaned loud when Cas took his dick in his mouth licking its underside. He shouldn’t be feeling like this. On the contrary. And Cas is his best friend. They never talked about being friends with benefits but damn, it felt so good.

Cas let go of Dean’s dick and leaned in enclosing Dean’s mouth with his own. Dean was hesitant at first but finally he gave in and opened his lips to let Cas sliding his tongue inside. They both moaned out loud sure they had woken up possible neighbours. But the whole place was totally empty anyway.

Cas got up panting. He was sporting a very much growing erection. Dean’s eyes flew open. He would have never thought a dude’s dick would look so marvellous. He wanted to touch it but his hands were tied.

”If you’re a good boy, I will give you a chance to suck it.” Cas grinned when he noticed Dean’s desperate face. ”Still claiming you’re straight?” Dean gulped and wanted to feel that bouncing dick inside him.

”Please, give it to me.” Dean whispered. He told himself to shut up and that he’s not into that kind of thing. He still couldn’t resist looking at that beautiful sight of naked Cas wanking himself and preparing for the inevitable.

”What did you say, Dean? I think I didn’t hear you.” Cas said and slapped the side of Dean’s arse. He screamed and pleaded for more.

”I want to feel you inside me.” Dean answered looking away from Cas. He didn’t dare to look at the angel while being horny as fuck and wanting that dick. Cas turned his head facing him.

”I didn’t quite catch you when you looked away. Look at me, boy and tell me what you desire.”

”Just skip the foreplay and fuck me hard.” Dean mumbled through his teeth.

”Is that what you want, huh? Do you think your pretty arse is ready for some rough treatment?” Cas asked and squeezed one of Dean’s buttocks. ”I think I need some preparing at first.”

Cas sat down next to Dean’s head. He guided his dick to his lover’s lips and sighed happily when he felt the wetness surrounding his cock. Dean started to suck it first slowly and then hurried up the pace. Cas moaned passionately.

”You’re so good at this. I can’t be your first blowjob.” Cas told him and pushed his member deeper in his mouth. Dean looked up facing Cas’s blue eyes. He wanted to free his hands, but Cas was in total control now. He could only just lay there and keep sucking that glorious cock.

Cas pulled his dick out. He didn’t want to come too early. Dean was all red in his face. He followed Cas’s steps when he headed to the end of the bed between his legs. Cas settled himself comfortably. He had taken some lube from the nightstand and started to spread it on his own cock. Dean couldn’t let his eyes off that sight. His own dick was longing for attention. He swore in his mind as he couldn’t please himself.

Cas took some lube in his fingers as well and started to spread it in Dean’s hole. Dean leaned his head back and pushed his ass upwards to meet the touch. Cas pushed his hips back on the bed.

”Not so fast, love.” He added one more finger inside and was rewarded with muffled groans. He wanted Dean to be prepared properly for the night of his life. Dean soon felt relaxed enough and Cas guided the tip of his dick against his anus. Dean squinted at first but when Cas started to push his dick in slowly and steadily, he started to feel much better. On its way, the dick hit his prostate and Dean made a low growl. He had never felt this good during sex. Not with any woman he had encountered in his life, ever.

Cas pushed all the way in. Dean loved it how full he felt. Cas let him get used to the feeling until starting a steady pace moving in and out. He hit Dean’s prostate regularly and made him nearly go over the edge. Cas varied the angle he entered the anus to make him feel differently every time.

”You make me feel so fucking good.” Dean groaned. ”Jeez. Hit that prostate. I want you to make me cum so hard.”

Cas leaned forward placing kisses along Dean’s jawline. He stopped at Dean’s mouth and gave him a desirous kiss. He tasted like Dean’s precum and alcohol. It tasted awesome and they kept on kissing while Cas pushed frantically inside.

They started to reach the peak and the pushes became deeper and slower. Cas grunted one last time and let his sperm flow inside Dean. He pushed towards the prostate few more times, sending Dean over the edge. Dean covered his and Cas’s stomachs with his semen. It felt really good to get some release for a while.

”It felt so wrong at first but I have felt something towards you for a while already. I have only tried to suffocate my feelings instead of giving in to them.” Dean admitted after they had collapsed on the bed next to each other and the ties had been removed.

”Everyone must have noticed our feelings already. Sam has tried to make us make out for a while already.”

”God damn it.”

”Watch your mouth, bad boy.” Cas told him and kissed him.

Dean used to get sleepy after a good sex. He snuggled next to Cas who took him under his arm. He knew what was about to come but he had Cas next to him. It was all that mattered.

Indeed, the Mare arrived after mere seconds after Dean had fallen asleep. Cas was gone as well. Dean was sure they were coming for him.


	15. Chapter 15

Cas had fallen asleep next to Dean dreaming of some very passionate things. He felt ashamed and thought he should definitely feel that way. Too bad his heart was going totally that way and wanted to give in to love for the hunter.

He got up and walked to the lobby. He heard some rustle and shouting behind the door. He took out his angel blade and was ready to attack. The door banged open. Rowena was the first to enter the bunker followed by Sam.

”Castiel. How wonderful to see you.” Rowena called him smiling.

”Ok, we’re done with the greetings. Let’s start saving Dean.”

Cas looked at them questioningly. Rowena seemed far from being willing to do this. Cas noticed handcuffs that prevented Rowena from hexing them to the next century. They sat down around the table.

”You must have heard about Dean’s condition. Weird enough, you were gone soon after we lost him to his nightmares.” Sam told her.

”Of course. All these news travel fast. After you started to call the other hunters, I was long gone soon after that. I didn’t want to participate in this at all. What kind of a reputation would it give me? Saving the one and only Dean Winchester from the Mare? No, sir.”

”Enough with the babbling. We have the spell, the ingredients and us. That is all you need. We need to save him as soon as possible. We don’t want him to end up the same way as the others.”

”What is it in for me?” Rowena asked innocently.

”We will give you the book you have been looking for. You know it’s in our library.”

”The book and a promise that you won’t bother me with such stuff for the next five years.” Rowena smiled broadly. Sam grimaced. They might need her but now they needed to help Dean and she was their only chance.

”Deal.” Cas answered before Sam could say anything. ”You’re our only hope.”

”It’s lovely to hear that angels and humans put their trust in me, the most humble witch around. As we have come to our agreement, I might be willing to help you indeed. Now, where’s the patient?”

They headed to Dean’s room and encountered the sleeping man who was grunting in his sleep. He calmed down when Cas entered the room and smiled a bit.

”Don’t tell me you still think he doesn’t love you, little angel.” Rowena looked at Cas.

”I think you might have a point there.” Cas admitted. Sam looked amazed.

”So you’re finally admitting you love each other. How wonderful.” Rowena clapped her hands together. ”No matter. Let’s get this stuff started. We don’t have all our lives. So, you’re willing to even possibly sacrifice your mental and physical health for saving Dean?”

Cas nodded and laid himself next to Dean. Rowena had her kit with her, so she was ready to mix the ingredients. Meanwhile Sam gave Cas some support.

”I’ll come with you.” Sam told him.

”No, it has to be me and me only. You don’t know what there might be.” Cas looked horrified.

”And that is the reason you need some company. Dean’s mind can be a scary place. I have known him for nearly all his life. I know his memories. I might be useful information.” Sam looked at Cas who still disagreed.

”You need to keep an eye on Rowena.” Cas whispered to him. ”She was too reluctant to help us.”

”I can hear you, you know.” Rowena told them. Cas rolled his eyes. He had seen Dean doing that. He doesn’t know why but it seemed to mean some kind of a disapproval.

”Let’s get this show started. Castiel, my boy, are you ready?” Rowena asked.

”As ready as one can be.”

”Come back in one piece and bring Dean with you. You both mean so much to me.” Sam told Cas and hugged him.

Cas set his head on a pillow and kept his angel blade firmly in his hand. He got the piece of the mirror with him as well. He wasn’t sure if the mirror would be of a use in the dreams, but it was worth of a try. The spell was able to bring the human body to the dream world as a whole so the weapons are able to be transported as well. They thought it might be useful.

”Travel safe, Cas. Bring him back.” Were the last words Cas heard before the spell put him to sleep.

Rowena looked at Sam knowingly. She knew the younger Winchester would never leave his brother and Castiel alone in the damnation. Sam looked nervous but was ready to follow them.

”I’m ready. Just take me there. I need them and they need me.” Sam sat himself on the armchair and let Rowena do her spell. He didn’t know what to expect as he hadn’t been there yet.

”Stupid boys.” Rowena sighed when Sam was asleep. She took a better seat and watched Dean turn around in his sleep. ”You’ll be lucky if you make it back alive.”


	16. Chapter 16

Cas woke up and kept his eyes closed. He tried to listen in case Dean was calling for him somewhere nearby. He heard no sound and tried to move. He heard a splash. Cas’s eyes flew open. He could barely see anything. He bolted up and realised he was in the emptiness. Cas started to walk in no particular direction.

”Dean? Are you here?” Cas called but heard no answer. All he could hear were his own footsteps splashing in the water. He hurried without knowing where to go. He tried to call Dean’s name, but he only encountered more darkness and silence.

After walking for what felt like hours, Cas saw a pile of something light coloured in the distance. He hoped it would give him a hint of Dean’s whereabouts. He noticed someone running for the unmoving pile. He got surprised seeing that it was Dean.

”Cas, Cas! No!” Dean hurried for the pile and Cas realised it was him lying there on the wet ground. It must have been one of Dean’s nightmares, seeing Cas hurt or even dead. Dean shook him, trying to wake him up. The dream Cas didn’t even stir.

”Dean. I’m here.” Cas stepped next to Dean who didn’t see him at all. Cas could see tears falling down Dean’s face when he tried to wake his dream version up.

”No, you can’t be dead.” Dean shouted and ”God damn it, Cas. I didn’t want to lose you this way.”

”I’m here, Dean.” Cas told him putting a hand on his shoulder. Dean shivered a bit but didn’t hear him. Cas realised he might be able to communicate with Dean in some ways if he could feel touches. Cas ran his hand along Dean’s shoulders and felt his body move under the touches.

Dean turned his head around, trying to see what caused the feeling of someone touching him. He didn’t see anyone and turned his attention back to the seemingly dead Cas on the ground. He had never felt this horrible. His worst nightmare is losing the people he loved and cared about, Cas and Sam especially.

”Who’s there?” Dean asked his eyes starting to show panic and sorrow. Dean turned his head everywhere seeing nothing but black nothingness. He turned his attention back to the dead Cas. He knew all this wasn’t real and the Mare was messing with his mind, trying to make him lose it.

”You son of a bitch. I will never give in.” Dean cursed through gritted teeth and got up. This was no time to mourn for things that weren’t really happening. Cas watched him starting to walk away with clenched fists, ready to fight whatever comes next.

Cas followed him for whatever felt like hours. He wasn’t sure. It might have been just minutes or even days. Dean didn’t know where to go. All they saw was pitch black everywhere. Cas suddenly heard some shuffle from all around them. He knew it must have been the Mare. He took the blade and the mirror out of his pocket, ready to attack.

The darkness was overwhelming. Dean had heard the sounds as well. He had no armour to attack the creature. Cas nearly jumped when someone touched his shoulder. He was ready to attack. When he turned around, he saw Sam.

”Sam. What are you doing here? I told you to stay put and make sure Rowena doesn’t let us down.”

”You’re going to need me as well. If the creature gets you, you both will be in trouble. We started this together and we’re going to end it that way.” Sam told Cas while they walked behind Dean. The shuffling sounds had faded away.

Dean stopped soon on his tracks. Sam and Cas nearly bumped into him. They noticed something heading towards them. Cas held the piece of mirror in front of him. The attack was sudden. The Mare hit Cas and the mirror flew further away from him. Cas managed to plunge his angel blade into the Mare’s arm. The creature yelped and ran away.

Dean stood there without realising what had happened. He didn’t see neither Cas nor Sam but something had hit the Mare. He only felt a comforting touch on his shoulder.

”Maybe I have an angel watching over me.” Dean laughed nervously and continued his way. He was missing Cas, but he felt that the angel was there making sure he would make it back home.

”Dean must know you’re here by now.” Sam told Cas. ”He looks much happier. But where is he going?”

”Maybe he tries to find a way out. The Mare didn’t get him this time, so he stays here. We don’t want to let it get Dean.” Cas gripped his angel blade tighter. He would be there for Dean until the end. They would get the hunter back home.

Dean seemed exhausted. He seemed like he hadn’t slept for days. The Mare made sure his dreams would be nightmares. He sat on the ground and sighed.

”Cas. If you can hear me. Just get me out of here. I would never say that normally, but I really mean it. I pray for you to get me out of this hellish place.”


	17. Chapter 17

Cas and Sam watched Dean’s steps sway left and right. He had dark bags under his eyes. He was cursing under his breath. They had walked for hours without getting anywhere. Dean had spotted something and hurried forward. They followed him ready to attack, in case it was the Mare.

They heard a low growl, and something was heading their way. Dean stopped abruptly.

”You thought you’re get away from here, didn’t you?” They heard a familiar voice saying. ”You’re bound here forever. You thought your sweet little angelic boyfriend would save you? He’s far away from here, maybe banging your handsome brother.”

”Don’t listen to him.” Sam shouted knowing it would do nothing. In front of Sam, there was Cas. The real Cas was holding his angel blade tightly in his hand. The growl they heard indicated that it was the Mare pretending to be Cas. Its arm was still bleeding after they had harmed it.

”You’re just a nuisance to you sweet angel and your brother. Without you they’d be much happier.” The Mare rounded Dean and licked its lips. ”You’re such a handsome boy. Maybe you should stay here, with me.”

”In your dreams, asshole. Pardon my pun.” Dean snorted.

”If you won’t stay willingly, I must have to make you stay. You will never get out of here.” The Mare plunged towards Dean with an angel blade in its hand. It was about to impale Dean’s chest when it felt a blade hit its shoulder once again. It couldn’t see anything but dropped the blade and fell on the ground.

”You will never get my friends, ever.” Cas barked and swayed his angel blade towards the Mare who turned around and barely missed the hit. It slammed Cas’s hand who dropped his blade as well. Sam was fast and grabbed it.

Dean looked at the fight eyes wide open. All he could see the Mare moving around and bleeding. He noticed the Mare trying to run away but he managed to stretch his leg and the Mare tripped. The last thing he notices, is a huge gaping hole appearing in its back and the creature giving a long and painful howl and then dropping dead on the ground.

Cas looked at Sam with the bloody blade in his hand. Dean started to fade away. Their fight was over. In a minute they started to get anxious. Why wasn’t Rowena letting them back? They tried to call her.

”Shit. Rowena, get us back now.” Sam shouted. 

”Maybe she tries her best. She promised that we’ll make it back.”

”She’s a goddamn witch. She can do whatever she wants. We made the mistake believing her.” Sam cursed.

”Maybe she’s trying. What if it’s difficult to get us back.”

Just as Cas had finished his sentence, Sam disappeared. Rowena must have finished her spell. Only Cas was left. He did trust in others, sometimes even too much. But she had been their only chance. The minutes passed by slowly. Finally, he felt a slight tug and the dream was empty again.


	18. Chapter 18

”What took you that long?” Cas asked and was soon answered by three dead bodies lying on the floor. ”Demons again?”

”Yes, dear. Unfortunately, I was too busy with them after Dean returned. Never mind, I’m done with this occasion. I must finish my holidays. It’s far too dangerous here. The vampires in Transylvania promised me a nice stay in their castle. Adieu, boys.” Rowena told them, took her bag and left the bunker.

”Thank you so much.” Sam shouted after her.

”Don’t talk about it. Remember, you owe me one.”

Cas had crouched next to Dean. Dean was sleeping but not the same, anxious way anymore. He snored peacefully.

”Let’s get something to eat meanwhile. Dean is safe now.” Sam told Cas and guided him to the kitchen. Cas glanced at Dean longingly but finally they knew he was home.

”Why did the Mare taunt Dean with us? Like it knew there was something deep inside Dean’s head.” Cas turned the water glass around in his hand, staring at the swirl.

”It had been inside Dean’s head for days. It knew his dreams and desires well enough to know which buttons to push. It knew Dean loves you and is afraid to lose you. That must have been the reason Dean saw you dead when we entered his dreams.”

They sat in silence just reminiscing what had happened. Sam wanted to give Cas some space. It had been rough time saving Dean. He wanted the two of them to be happy together.

They heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. Dean looked well slept but mentally tired. His hair was a mess. Cas blushed when seeing him back. He turned his face down and smiled a bit. He hadn’t been this happy for ages.

”What happened? Did we win? Are those demons in my room?” Dean asked pointing towards his room.

”The answers are yes and yes. We won and the demons got a hunch where the bunker might be. Might have been Rowena hinting them.” Sam told him.

”Rowena? Where the fuck is that witch now? I wanna kill her.” Dean punched his fist on the table.

”She’s the one who saved you.” Cas interrupted Dean.

”What? You have to be kidding me.”

”She was the only one who could help us. We needed to penetrate your dreams. All the things you saw happen to the Mare, that was us two.” Cas explained. ”Sam managed to find her. She’s long way gone now.”

”Maybe she thought you’d want to kill her even though she helped us.” Sam laughed.

”I need some beer.” Dean grunted and sat down. ”And a huge burger. I’m hungry.”

They explained they had none in the fridge and they had no materials to make any burgers. Dean rolled his eyes around.

”Let’s go and get something to eat. There’s nothing in this godforsaken place. I know this good place nearby. I need to take Baby for a ride. She must have been in the garage for days. She must be missing me.”

”You and Cas go ahead and grab something to eat. I will find something in the fridge for myself.” Sam told them and winked at Cas. ”I will take care of those guys in your room, unless you need a new decor.”

Dean grimaced at Sam’s suggestion and agreed to go alone with Cas. He hadn’t eaten in his dreams, so he was starving. Dean headed towards the garage. Sam gave Cas a thumbs up. Cas smiled back at him and followed Dean.

”There’s so much to talk about.” Dean grunted when they hit the road. ”It feels so good to be back and drive Baby.”

”It’s good to have you back.”

Dean opened the window and let the cool air inside the car. He sighed in relief after spending the days inside and not feeling the fresh air. He put his elbow out of the window and leaned on it happily. Cas watched at him carefully.

”Oh, how I want to tell you how handsome you are and how much I’ve longed to have you back. I just want to kiss those lips of yours so badly.” Cas thought when surveying Dean. After not being able to spend time with the hunter for days, he had started to realise how much he appreciated Dean’s company.

Dean parked the Impala in front of a shabby looking burger palace, and they got out. He noticed Cas’s face when they entered the restaurant.

”It’s not that fancy looking, ay? Believe me, they have the best burgers in town. They just melt in your mouth. Get us a seat and I will order.” Dean told Cas and headed for the bar.

Cas looked around. The place was nearly empty even though it was the weekend. Just a few people here and there. Cas trusted Dean’s knowledge when it came to burgers, so he sat down around a table in a secluded corner next to a window. They needed some place quiet.

Cas pulled out his phone. Sam had sent him a text message sending them good luck. Without Sam’s support they wouldn’t be here. He seemed to be frustrated and wanting them to get on with their relationship. Cas had never had a crush on anyone. Angels didn’t have same kind of emotions as humans and falling in love was unusual. Dean came back with two big burgers, a bunch of French fries and some Coca-Cola.

”Need some mayo or ketchup?” Dean offered but Cas shook his head. People ate weird stuff. Why ruin the original taste?

”This is so fucking good. I could eat this every day for the rest of my life.” Dean took a big bite and glanced at Cas who didn’t seem too bothered to taste his. ”Give it a go. It’s really good.”

Cas took a small bite. He was really hungry and even small rocks would taste terrific at that point. He told Dean he wanted to know everything now.

”Well. I found the Mare’s nest in the old factory area. It attacked me and I tried my best to avoid it. The Mare got me soon and I ended up asleep in this nightmare world.” Dean sighed and took few more bites and a sip from his drink.

”We got you right after you had fallen asleep. We got you back to the bunker and started to find a way to rescue you. I wasn’t much of a use without my powers so Sam started to look for Rowena. Some hunter had spotted her earlier so Sam went after the clue.”

”So, she was your only chance? I have to give it to her. She did a good job helping you. But remember, she’s a witch and she will have you pay back.”

”She did give us a reminder. So, what happened there, in your nightmares?”

”I had to relive most of my nightmarish childhood memories. John wasn’t a model father. He was absent, drunk and violent. I was there to protect Sam and I got a constant reminder how horrible our childhood was.”

”I have had the image that he wasn’t the best you could get but I know the feeling. Our father is very much absent as well. Go on, please.” Cas told Dean knowingly.

”The Mare must have known what I desire and what I dream of. I saw people get killed, I lost the ones I care about. The creature wanted to mess with my mind, making me lose it. The Mare didn’t make it. I won with your help. It means a lot to me.” Dean’s voice cracked up and he looked down at his plate.

”We wanted to help you. You mean a lot to me and Sam. We’re the family you need.” Cas told him and put his hand over Dean’s shoulder, the place where his handprint was branded for the rest of Dean’s life. Dean shivered but didn’t move away. The touch was comforting and felt nice. Cas held it there for a while.

Dean smiled and thanked Cas. Cas let his hand back on the table. Dean looked at it and his fingers twitched. He wanted to touch Cas and caress his hand. He wanted to feel the soft skin against his.

”I lost you, I lost Sam in my nightmares.” Dean mumbled. ”That was the worst part of it all. As you said, you’re the family I need. You mean a lot to me, Cas. I care about you. I need you. I would be doomed without your help and company.”

Cas smiled gently and reached for Dean’s hand. He ran his fingers along the bones in it. It felt good and he finally felt a proper connection with the hunter.

”I love you, Dean.” Cas whispered. ”Not just as a friend. People would say I fancy you. You make my days better and you make me feel alive. I really do love you more than anything.”

Dean sat there staring at Cas, not knowing what to say. He didn’t move as he didn’t want to break the connection between their hands. After a short silence, Dean took Cas’s hand in his and crossed their hands together. He squeezed the angel’s hand gently. They didn’t need words, just a small touch meant a lot for them. Cas knew how Dean felt and it was mutual.

”I love you, too.” Dean answered gently. ”I have felt that way ever since I got to know you. You entered my life with that big bang in that barn. I knew it must have been fate.”

Dean blushed and stared at his now nearly fully eaten burger; like trying to find an answer and support from the food. He slowly raised his gaze and noticed Cas smiling at him and reaching out his hands. Dean took hold of them.

”I adore how you blush when you see me and pretend nothing happened. Human interactions are difficult to comprehend but I knew something was up. Sam has been telling me for ages that you love me. First I thought it was impossible, considering you like to give females certain signals. I don’t know why people do that. Why don’t they talk straight?”

”I have been trying to deny my feelings. That’s what some people tend to do when they realise, they might fancy someone of their own gender.”

”Why?”

”Being homosexual is still considered a taboo. I thought I liked ladies only at first but then I met you. Sam indeed, has been hinting me as well. Everyone has seen the way we treat each other, except us. For fucks sake, we have been stupid.”

”Now we may fix all those years we kept staring at each other.”

”Sam keeps calling it eye-fucking. Are we really like that?” Dean asked. Cas only nodded.

They left the place soon and headed back to Impala. After they exited the restaurant, Cas took Dean’s hand and pulled him closer. He was never going to let go again. They had let go far too many times before. Dean looked at Cas and smiled broadly.

”Let’s take Baby for a ride, shall we? Sam won’t be waiting for us to go back.”

”Yeah, we definitely should do that.” Cas grinned.


	19. Chapter 19

They sat in the car in silence. Cas held out his hand and laid it on Dean’s thigh. Dean shivered and Cas got startled.

”It’s ok, Cas. Keep your hand there. It feels really nice.”

Cas relaxed. He didn’t know how to read all Dean’s reactions yet. He gently caressed the thigh. Dean started to blush even more. The pressure in his pants started to rise. He didn’t want to spoil the mood, so he kept his mind in other stuff. It proved to be really difficult with the gorgeous angel sitting next to him. He wanted to find some peaceful and quiet place. They had driven for an hour. They ended up beside a lake with a nice view to the setting sun.

”It looks beautiful.” Cas declared when they got out of the car. Dean stood next to him and put his hands around the angel. He leaned closer and could smell Cas’s scent. He felt Cas shiver a bit and Dean pulled him even closer.

”I love you so frigging much.” Dean whispered and placed his lips against Cas’s giving him and slow and sweet kiss. Cas didn’t have much experience but mimicking Dean’s moves, he learned quickly. Dean pulled away after a while panting. He could only admire Cas’s heated face.

”I think humans call this state ’horny’.” Cas said and made Dean laugh out loud.

”Yeah, you could say that.” Dean wiped tears from his eyes and noticed Cas was starting to sport a hard-on. ”Get on the backseat, you handsome.”

”Why would you want to sit there?” Cas looked at Dean with a puzzled face, his head tilted. Dean said nothing but pushed Cas on his back on the backseat. Cas yelped with surprise.

”I said nothing about sitting, my love.”

Dean leaned over Cas and kissed him first gently and slowly started using more force. Cas whimpered underneath him when Dean added the tongue. He traced Cas’s teeth with it and played with the angels tongue. He pulled out after fierce minutes. Cas’s face was red and he was panting hard.

Dean gave him and wide grin before getting up and starting to undress his shirt. Slowly he lifted his t-shirt over his head while Cas watched him without blinking. He didn’t want to miss a moment. Dean’s muscular upper body was revealed. Cas wanted to touch it so badly. Dean leaned over him and let Cas feel his chest.

Cas placed small kissed all over Dean’s naked chest. Dean was sure there were quite a few things he had learned from the pizza man. He loved it how he could feel Cas’s lips on his bare skin, stopping at his nipples every now and then.

”You won’t need that trench coat of yours today.” Dean panted and Cas stopped.

”Why? I like it.” Dean tried not to laugh. His little angel still was so innocent.

”Well, keep it on then.” Dean suggested and started to caress Cas’s thighs. Cas moaned and lifted his legs on the bench. The aching in his groin was growing fast.

Dean started to carefully open Cas’s buttons in his trousers. The big bulge underneath needed to be set free. Cas lifted his butt for Dean to drop his pants down.

”Wow. That’s a nice looking one.” Dean smiled when he saw Cas’s revealed cock. Dean leaned in and sniffed the scent of Cas’s pubic hair. He gave the shaft a quick lick, causing Cas shiver in anticipation and pleasure. ”You taste so good.”

Cas loved how Dean’s low voice made shivers go up his spine. He was leaking of precum and wanted a release. Dean was painfully slow with his licks. Dean licked all the way along the length of his cock. He took it fully in his mouth and placed his hand around it. Cas moaned out loud when Dean started a steady blowjob.

Dean had dropped his own trousers and was working on his own dick. He wanted to feel Cas’s insides badly. The thought of the tight heat was making him crazy and about to cum. He lifted Cas’s ass up more and placed his tongue on the entrance of his anus. Dean pushed his tongue in and out a few times, making Cas roll his head and groaning so that any passer-by might have heard them.

Dean pulled out and leaned in to kiss Cas more. His own cock was now hard and wanting to get some attention. Cas got up and went on all fours. Dean crouched behind him and gave Cas’s ass a few more slaps.

”If I truly love you, why do I keep slapping your rear?” Dean asked Cas mockingly. Cas showed him his tongue in response. He was answered with another slap. ”Maybe you have done something wrong.”

”I think saving you from perdition once again was a reason good enough.” Cas answered looking innocent.

”Maybe I should reward you, then.”

”Oh yes, Dean.” Cas panted when Dean started to push his cock inside Cas slowly. Cas winced at the pain at first, but Dean slowed down and placed small kisses along his back to soothe him. He got used to the feeling soon.

Dean loved how tight Cas felt. He kept the pace steady and altered the rhythm a bit. He pulled his cock nearly all the way out and pushed it back in fast. Cas turned back on his back and let Dean enjoy the view. He took hold of his own cock and started slowly masturbating himself.

”You look gorgeous like that.” Dean managed to mumble between pushes. He held Cas’s thighs up high and took one of Cas’s toes inside his mouth sucking it in. Cas moaned out even louder enjoying the sight of red-faced Dean sucking it. He carefully gave attention to all of the toes.

Cas was on the verge of cumming. He begged for Dean to let him cum. Dean pulled out of Cas’s anus and gave his dick a couple of good sucks. Cas came shooting all his semen inside Dean’s mouth. Some of it ended up on his face and neck. Dean smiled broadly and swallowed everything that had ended up in his mouth.

Dean got up and gave his own cock a few more good wanks. He came all over on Cas’s abdomen and pubic area. Cas took some of the cum on his finger and tasted it. Dean looked at him questioningly.

”You taste good as well, love.” Cas told him. Dean snuggled on top of him covered in cum. He finally felt happy with the guy he had loved for years now.

”I bet Sam knows why it’s taking us so long.” Cas said. ”I bet he’ll be happy how things turned out.”

”Oh, believe me, he has known all these years. He has been after your brother for a while already.”


End file.
